I Met Saint Francis Today

3/10/23

This morning I began my day with the Sun to my left rising pink out of a cloud cluster and the Moon beaming in the blue sky to my right. My friend and trainer Kim was treating me to a waterfront workout on her back patio in Perdido Key. We were utterly surrounded by the goodness of creation: a stretched out inland waterway, dolphins, pelicans, seagulls, cranes, and lovable cats and dogs in the yard. Grand Magnolias, bursts of tall Slash Pine trees, palm trees and craggy river oaks framed the view.

Creation is a beautiful temple. And, today my heart has been begging the question, as a result of an assignment I take seriously, what can be rescued from the rubble of church-apocalypse?

Is there a seed of viable theology in a church so rich in abuses and betrayals, forged in patriarchy and clouded in self-awareness? What about theologians of the past? Can any of their contributions have value when the systems that formed them left out the voices of the marginalized? Saint Francis was one of the figures I pushed myself to have hope in for total relevance to my work today. But I got stuck on him in several places. I sorted it out knowing the differences and similarities in our situations.

Even so, he's been walking with me all day, you see. I don’t mean the book version of Francis. No, he has been here - wanting to be seen, known, and in relationship with me, somehow. I wouldn’t have imagined such.  He's so tender… he's so intimately gentle… his spirit almost pleads for mercy and attending in a way that you can't resist. I can't express what he's like well but I am trying. I feel like I've met him. And now I understand why no one could ever hold Francis prisoner. He must have used that same lovingkindness to attempt pacifist talks in Egypt. (Did I mention I felt my pacifism dwindling away today before all this? Perhaps you saw my middle finger post on social media this morning. Kim knows I brought up my emerging lack of total pacifism over deadlifts in the morning breeze.)

Later in the afternoon, because of my keywords and the algorithms I guess, a post from my D.Min professor Ron thankfully popped to the top of my feed. And it prompted me suddenly to listen to The Porter's Gate Climate Vigil songs, and in particular this one: “All Creatures Lament.”  I really wasn't conscious of any of the synchronicities.

I'll tell you the order of my thoughts after pressing “play” on this song : This song wrecks me the way Francis did today…. Wait, this is the song I led with Fransisca at the mic and with the rest of our cohort in a chapel service last Fall. (Talk about the same themes of experience: can I be in this church space and stay focused? Can I give? Can I gain? What can be salvaged from the rubble of a church experience for me right now?)... Wait but this is a rewrite of Saint Francis's song for those who need to hold the church accountable, and cry…. Wait everything is converging.

Francis was a master of confronting harm and not being harmed by the one he confronted. Did he need to confront me? Or just befriend me?

I've never declared war on the church. But maybe today, maybe someone needed to win my heart to the truth that there is much worth seeking in the rubble. Maybe just people. And maybe just their stories. And not the systems that formed them. But who excavates systems from rubble anyway?

Do you want to hear it? Francis's original and ancient words were quite beautiful set to a major key in a hymn most of us have known. But this is a minor key. And the words are different. And I think he loves it. I still can’t get through it with an uncracked voice.